Unstable

 

At this point in my life I am just rolling with the punches. I’ve read so many self-help books to try and get my shit together. Do I have my shit together? No! Will I ever? I sure hope I do! Who knows at this point! I try to achieve a goal, but self-help gurus say to create a habit that eventually will turn into your goal. Ugh! That does not sound fun. The only habits that I enjoy are going to brunch, drink coffee, and loving my dog. There is the occasional time that I do my bed after I get up in the morning, but honestly I do it because I have friends that stop by and I went them to think I am a grown up. How on Earth does everyone have their crap together? My neighbor is a hot daddy of 3, has 2 dogs, lives in a big 2 story house, and has enough time to work on his yard shirtless! That last part I thank him for doing that, but the point is that I am single and only taking one class at the community college, and I barely have time to do mundane-everyday activities. 

Do you think that I am addicted to my mess? The reason I bring this up, is because there is a quote that can describe me, and it’s from Gossip Girl.-“You can’t save a damsel in distress, if she loves her distress.” It’s hilarious how I can relate to this high-class TV show. I see people working out and I wish my body dysmorphia was bad enough to try and do something about it. I see people working hard and hustle 24/7, but that doesn’t inspire me, on the contrary power hungry people are gross. I know I shouldn’t compare myself, but I do sometimes feel ashamed and self conscious that I am not doing anything. I love how things are, but I know that society trained me to shoot for the stars and I end up in an anxiety attack.

I know I am enough, and super funny with a quirky personality, but I do feel that I am not doing enough. Sometimes I want to move away from all expectations and eat pasta all day and just enjoy the little things. 

Today, I want you to remember that there is no right way to live life. We just have to have the courage to break away from high expectations. Easier said than done, but I know that there are people out there that feel the same way.  

So eat your noodles, blind people with your glitter highlight and flip off the world! Tootles!